Having Intamacy Issues... ladies, help?

2 years ago I got out of a very stressful relationship that left me with major issues concerning intamacy. Since then, I have dated a few girls, but when it comes to our life, I revert and retract and I become hesitant. Once we become extremely comfortable with one another, performance doesn't become an issue anymore, but when we first become intimant, I am having trouble... with... you know what. I find that most of the women I date are very shy and I feel like if she were more open and straightforward about feelings and with , I wouldn't have these "problems". I am 25... what can I do? I want a healthy life and a partner to enjoy it with!