I am a 38 year old single female. I have never lived away from my parents.?

At 25 I rented an apartment in their house and paid them rent. I lived two floors above them. Unfortunately, acquired heavy debt and thought I was moving back into their house for a little while to get back on my feet. That was two years ago. The debt came mostly from vacations, I love to travel but extended myself way beyond my means. I make very little money, about 2600 a month, and have over 70,000 dollar debt. Yes, I have screwed up. But, my question is not even about that. As much as I would like to be in my own place I feel saddened by the thought of leaving my mother especially alone. My dad still works alot and my mother lays on the couch watching tv. We are not particularly close, yet I'm afraid that if I'm gone she'll be completely alone. When I think of leaving I always think that one day they're going to die and I will have missed their lives, meanwhile I feel like I'm missing my own. I also feel a tremondous amount of guilt for the debt I acquired and for the fact that my 68 year old father is still working, not that he pays my debt, but with that money I could have made their lives easier instead of spending it on me. I dont have many single freinds left, and while I have had long term relationships in the past dont have anyone right now and probably never will. My question is am I a freak for feeling this way? Am I abnormal for living at home. How can I afford to live on my own, by the way I absolutely hate the city (New York) I live in and would love to move somewhere else, but it is hard enough to leave as it is. Why am I so attached to someone I'm not even close to and how do I let go???